humor

  • The Ruins of St. Valentine’s

    He awoke on the couch'midst the ruins of St. Valentine's Day–cumpled brown wrappers    from a box of Russel Stovers;a bent Hallmark card    (heavy on the red)    jammed between two cushions; the dryness of his mouth    from… Continue reading

  • A Caution for Parents

    That something lived beneath my bedwas simply not the question."That thing is all inside your head,"was Mama's stern suggestion. But then one evening while she frownedbeside the bed and lectured,it grabbed her ankles, pulled her down,as I had long conjectured.… Continue reading

  • At the Gates

    Finally,standing at the pearly gates–well, actually more like brushed nickel–I see God approaching from the other side,carrying a branding iron. "Next,"says Peter,not even looking up from his iPad spreadsheet. I'm next,but I look around;maybe I should let the lady behind… Continue reading

  • Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory

    "Be that as it may…"intoned the constable,"…the bloody candlestick was in your hand;you were in the conservatorywhere Colonel Mustard was founddead in a pool of his own blood;and you have clearly admitted–to several in the mansion–your hatred of Mustard's pomposity… Continue reading

  • Stopping by a Wall in the Early Morning

    Whose pants are these? I think I know.His home is up a block or so.My little Nikon thinks it queerThat I should snap a photo here. Why drape them so? At whose behest?Seems lacking logic at its bestFor jeans to… Continue reading

  • My Birthday

    My birthday's here; today's the day.I'll throw a party! Can't you stay?Ah, I see, you've plans and soreluctantly you've got to go–you've got a dog who's not been fed;you've got a child who's sick in bed;you're working late; you have… Continue reading

  • Slippery When Wet

    And, really,aren't we all? Text and image © 2012 by Dirk deVries. All rights reserved.     Continue reading

  • Yet More Titles Waiting for Their Poems

    Present, Tense The Cat with Faux Paws Crazy for Au Jus Theirs Was But a Brief Engorgement Gradual Enlardment (Oblesity) That Which Keeps Me Going Soaring above My Grandfather's Garden From Infatuated to Outfatuated Given Enough Rope Have a Glorious… Continue reading

  • Yet Another Ten Titles in Search of Their Poems

    Luminosity The Fourth Trimester Blubbermouth Chance Encounter Spiritual Edema Escape Claws Flies on the Face of Reason Giving the Devil a New Do Supplemental Flotation Forlornication Text and image © 2011 by Dirk deVries. All rights reserved.   Continue reading

  • Ten More Titles in Search of Their Poems

    The Lost Pram Unprotected Candor The Sponge of Silence Nocturnal Omissions I Don't Recall Asking Emotional Wetlands Pigskin The Ox and the Moron Fluffy Critiques Her Owner's Poetry Pock Marks and Nose Hairs Has anyone seen them? Text and image… Continue reading