Disintegration leads to reintegration. Loss of the "I" (the ego, the self) leads to fuller integration into the greater "I" (which is ultimately union with all, with the divine, with God).

This is the pattern of life, repeated daily, even hourly, cycling through as we live the months, years, decades of our lives.

The periods of growth, healing, awareness and enlightenment always alternate with those of pain, loss, grief, despair, disappointment, confusion and self-doubt. The latter, though painful, are necessary; they signal (once again) the approach of restoration and movement toward wholeness.For this reason, disintegration can be welcomed when recognized. The letting go heralds the approach of something greater.

Have I experienced the truth of this? Absolutely, again and again, such that I can trust what will follow, the putting back together.

And this putting back together–this reintegration–predictably brings certain common elements, which I can anticipate and appreciate, even before they arrive: humility (the falling backward into the realization that I don't need to convince anyone, least of all myself, that I'm competent or complete or invulnerable); commonality (the awareness that I'm no different than anyone else–same fears, hopes, insecurities); perspective (recognizing that there's not much, finally, that's really important–just love.); gentleness, tenderness, kindness (handling myself and others like I might a kitten or puppy–protecting vulnerability, addressing needs, cradling).

So today may be a day of disintegration of the ego…a thing to be welcomed. Or it may be a day of unexpected integration…a thing to be welcomed. It will be what it will be.

Text and image © 2010 by Dirk deVries. All rights reserved.