If I could just hold all insights in concsciousness. If all those "aha" moments–when vision becomes clear and a few more pieces fall into place and I stand breathless on the brink of the divine–would stay with me. If only…

Or if only all insights really consolidated into just one simple, profound, transformative insight… (or maybe two or three).

Or is this a false pursuit? Are the moments when I am centered, transformed, enlightened, unified (whatever word fits), are these moments themselves illusory, meant to be released?

What is this thing I pursue? What is this thing I hope to achieve? Even that can be released; some say the pursuit itself keeps it from happening.

It's all circular, which seems to bring me back to what author Steven Harrison proposes: "Stop trying." Just stop. Don't even think about the happening. Just stop. Do nothing. There, you have it. Have what? Stop asking. But…? No, stop.

Text and image © 2010 by Dirk deVries. All rights reserved.