There is a Japanese proverb that suggests, "Don't give others what they don't want."

How often haven't I done this? I recall the sermons I've preached, the classes I've taught, the workshops I've lead, the articles I've written… In retrospect, I could have been a lot more invitational and much less directive.

How about all the unsolicited advice I've offered to friends and family members? the guidance nobody asked for? Egad!

And from the other end, how often, when I simply wanted a hug, did I get advice? How often, when all I wanted was, "Yes, it sucks," was I assaulted by ways to fix it? Guess I needed to be clearer on the need.

I'm comforted a bit by knowing that, to a great degree, you can't give someone what they don't want; it just doesn't work. It bounces off and rolls under the couch.

Feel free, if you have the time, to gather it up and send it back to me. I may find something useful for the future…not for you, for me.

Text and image © 2010 by Dirk deVries. All rights reserved.