I am a racist,
    but I am not a bad person.

Racist does not equal bad.

We white people
    stumble over the term "racist"
because we think it only applies
    to pipe-wielding bashers of blacks
or goose-stepping white nationalists.

When someone therefore calls us racist,
    we feel offended and defensive
because we think they are calling into question
    our very character.

Yes, racism is bad,
    but good people can–
often without self-awareness–
    hold unchallenged racist beliefs,
support hidden racist policies
    and fail to confront their own–
and others–
    unspoken and unacknowledged racism.

It's therefore a false belief
    that racial discrimination must be intentional
to be labeled racist.

So again,
    I am racist–
but not evil.

You are racist–
    but not evil.

White defensiveness around racism
    (and the unwillingness to talk about it)
is often the result of this confusion–
    we think it's horrible, unbearable to be called racist.
It's not.
    They are simply saying
some of your words or actions
    (or lack of words or actions)
are racist words or actions.
    In other words
hear the terms racism and racist
    as descriptive,
not pejorative.

The appropriate response in such cases
    is to say, "Thank you,"
and then, "I'm sorry,"
    and finally,
"I'm going to do the work of self-reflection,
   and I will change,"
and then, once again,
    "Thank you."

If you grew up and have lived white in America,
    you hold, without question,
unexamined racist behaviors and beliefs.
    You may deny this,
but I haven't yet met a white person who doesn't.
    It's an inevitable result
of growing up white in this country.
    We are socialized into it.
Racist messages–
    both implicit and explicit–
were–and now are–everywhere in our environment.

It's a matter of degree.
    The constructive question for all of us is not:
Am I or am I not racist?
    but rather:
Where on the continuum do I fall?
    What are the racist beliefs I hold?
What racist behaviors am I demonstrating?
    which hopefully leads to:
What do I want to do about it?
   and then:
How, where, and when do I start?

I have a few suggestions
    (and I imagine that your who read this
have more to add; please do).
    To start, educate yourself;
open your eyes to all the ways
    racism has been a part of our lives.

There are many great resources to help us with this.
    I am currently learning from these:

(1)    White Fragility: Why It's Hard for White People to Talk about Racism    
                by Robin Diangelo

(2)    How to Be an Anti-Racist
                by Ibram X. Kendi

(3)    Waking Up White: And Finding Myself in the Story of Race
                by Debby Irving

All of these are both perspective-challenging
    and life-changing…
if you allow it.

I am allowing it,
    and I invite you to join me.

So I am a racist,
    but not a bad person,
and once I simply admit it,
    I am ready to grow and change.

We can take this journey together.

Text and image © 2020 by Dirk deVries. All rights reserved.
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